This is a post about how overstimulating it is to spend 6-8 hours a day in a middle school, and how hard it is to come down from that wired feeling that builds up when you spend all day sorting out arguments (Did you stab him with your pen? That is a yes or no question…), modeling non-fiction reading strategies, corresponding with camps about overnight team-building programs, attending meetings with parents, and trying to keep the piles of paper from overwhelming your desk. And it’s a post about how powerfully one’s body can just want to be held at those times, how it would just take a hug or a few minutes curled up next to someone to help all those muscle cells and neurons and everything else stop quivering and firing and just let go. And it’s a post about how we tend to underestimate the power of touch, and about how much I crave it at the end of a long day. And it’s probably a post that you wish you hadn’t read because this feels like Too Much Information, but then again, isn’t it symptomatic of what I’m describing to feel really awkward admitting that you just want someone to hold you at the end of a long, grueling work day (which is every day, lately)?
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ms. frizzle 
No, it’s not too much information at all. Nothing soothes me more at the end of a long and grueling day than to snuggle with my honey. And it’s not about sex (tmi?) – it’s about our basic need to be loved and comforted and simply let the rest of the world fade away.
I met my wife when I was in graduate school, so I never had to face teaching without someone to come home to. (O.k. — we weren’t *living* together immediately, but you get the idea…)
I’ve never underestimated what a gift that was.
Not too much info at all.
The words you write could be my own. I know all too well how you feel and how deep that craving can run. I wish I had an easy answer for you. I wish that our culture would recognize that all physical contact doesn’t have to be about sex and that sharing a close moment can be just about friendship and companionship. I wish there were a way to make that feeling go away.
I cheat and try to wrangle a little bit of touch anyway . It might be a hand on a friend’s back when I walking by him. It might be leaning on someone’s shoulder instead of merely gazing over it. It is going to Judo practice because … it’s a contact sport so most of us communicate by touch.
I hope you can find a way to accommodate your yearning, or, even better, the someone who will fulfill it.
i don’t blame you at all, and i completely understand–i remember reading that you need several hugs a day for optimal self growth.
god, especially after teaching all day.
if it helps, here’s a virtual hug for you now. 🙂
I totally have the same sentiment as you on many days. There are times that I wonder how many facets of my life are neglected due to this chosen profession. I ran into my old principal the other day and she greeted me with this big, long hug. Kind of odd, but it really did reduce the stress level I was at.
What a wonderfully reflective post.