My funny Valentine…

Couldn’t help but take up Eduwonkette’s challenge (do we get to do limericks next month? pretty please??):

Some desire roses
or tickets to Paris
but if she’s an educrat,
just give her ARIS.

Is this one funny to anyone else but me?

If what you’re seeking
is to be warmly enveloped,
seek no further:
my school’s well-developed.

More to come…


Update: This is what I did when I should have been eating dinner. Deepest apologies to Andrew Marvell. Please forgive oversimplifications, needless complexities, understatements and overstatements, not to mention omissions, elisions, and lack of coherence, all in the name of poetic license.

To our Coy Mayor

Had we but money enough, and time,
These policies, mayor, were no crime.
We would sit down and think which way
to teach and pass our students’ day;
Thou by the preslugged scantrons’ marks
shouldst value-added find; we by our books
would scarce complain. We’d yet
elect you mayor, then president,
and you should, if you please, refuse,
‘til the conversion of reds to blues.
Our interim database should grow
vaster than the IRS, and show less.
A hundred years should go to prep
the ELA and to administer DRAs;
two hundred to prep the math test
but thirty thousand for the rest,
an age at least to music and art
and the last age should show our heart,
for mayor, our children deserve this much,
nor through the standards should we rush.

But at our backs we always hear
Time’s winged chariot hurrying near;
and daily, youth in schools we see,
tabula rasa of city policy.
Thy numbers shall no more be found,
nor, when adults become, shall sound
such condemning song; once grown they’ll try
that oft-promised accountability,
if your math test gains deserved trust,
or if all that’s left is what was cut.
Test scores show things and sometimes rise
but none I think are there made wise.

Now therefore, while the mayoral sweat
beads on thy brow for some time yet,
and while thy willing soul transpires
and Tweed is filled with bright young hires,
Now let you restore funds while you may;
And now, like a statesman day by day,
rather at once to schools provide
than impoverish, demand, divide.
Let us pour all our funds, and forthwith,
all our power, into these kids;
and prepare them for both joy and strife
through depth and breadth early in life.
Thus, though we cannot make our sun
stand still, yet we will make him run.



Filed under education, New York, politics, randomness

3 responses to “My funny Valentine…

  1. That second one is hilarious- but I think you’d have to be a teacher fresh off a quality review to truly appreciate it.

  2. I am in tears laughing at both of your Valentines…and my husband just doesn’t understand. My school just received a well-developed last Wednesday. I’m thinking of stealing your poem and giving it anonymously to my principal!

  3. lol

    vegetable love anyone?

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